by Cathy Fletcher
Being a 50+ woman is something we are told to dread; we are (supposedly) twirling the drain of the fountain of youth with menopause, wrinkles, and other signs of aging but, unlike men, we are not praised and told it looks good on us. I refuse to believe or fall under the spell of these lies from the patriarchy.
My perspective, however, has totally transformed. I no longer consider getting a facelift, an upper blepharoplasty, or maybe something around my stomach. The number of treatments you can get now is overwhelming and expensive, to say the least.
What Triggered My Mindset Shift?
It’s plain and simple: I was fed up and bored with feeling sorry for myself for being a human. I think it’s so easy to be mean to yourself, even in ways you don’t realise. I would bend over backwards for my kids, partner, friends and family members. Always making sure they were well cared for and happy.
I habitually compared myself and brought myself down, even saying something like ‘Oh, I could never pull that off’ when I saw my friends wearing stunning outfits. It’s like I heard myself for the first time, and I realised that my saying these self-deprecating things affected my self-esteem and brought me down.
To me, feeling good on the inside has always helped me reflect it on the outside. So with work I am resisting being negative, and not just by ignoring it as if it would go away. It’s taken a lot of time and mental strength, but in a short period of time I’ve changed my mindset on aging.
Where I Think It Stems From
I believe these thought patterns are a huge compilation of learnt behaviour. My mother hasn’t been the most confident woman. She used to talk about herself so negatively, always calling herself fat and saying that she would only be happy when she got to a certain weight.
But it’s not just that; it’s also growing up hearing firsthand how men would talk about women who were older than me. You don’t realise it, but it does affect you because you don’t want people saying that stuff about you behind your back. Which is ridiculous because people will talk no matter what, whether you’re 20 years old or 50.
I believe that it’s a mixture of learnt behaviour and how you feel inside, but as you continue to talk badly, you also begin to believe it. I have become a strong believer that you attract the energy you put out, so if you are constantly feeling insecure, saying negative things for reassurance, and just having a change in your character, it’s going to be reflected in your relationships around you.
No Shame
I don’t want this statement to be viewed as shaming anyone who wishes to undergo plastic or cosmetic surgery because that would make me no better than anyone shaming me for ageing audaciously. It’s all a personal choice at the end of the day; therefore, whether you are going under the knife or you are after some less invasive skin therapies.
The main point of it all should be something you are doing for yourself and not for ANYONE else; therefore, if and when I do undergo any sort of cosmetic changes, it will be medically tested facials, peels or skin booster injections from Gary Ross, whom my friends have been to and who has extensive knowledge and history within this world, both plastic and cosmetic driven.
It’s so important to choose carefully if you are going to take that step into changes or enhancements because more often than not, they are permanent or could end up creating more damage than they’re worth. While referrals can be good, I would still recommend doing your own research.
Final Thoughts
Overall, my choice to age audaciously is my own. By working on telling myself positive statements, not comparing myself with others, and enhancing my own natural beauty with facials and treatments, I believe I can fall in love with myself all over again. I hope the same for you!
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